DECONSTRUCTING?
Back in 2002, long before the term “deconstructing” hit the mainstream, I struggled to figure out my faith apart the church that brought me into a knowledge of Christ as Savior. I spent so much time defending the church and the whole denomination from criticisms of legalism and leanings of works-based salvation that I was blind to the problems that were hurting the people around me.
I didn’t call it “deconstructing.” I called it “Separating Christianity from Churchianity.”
I didn’t have a sudden break from the church after a painful wound like a lot of others who have taken this journey. For me, it was a series of small things that I just couldn’t ignore.
- The worship pastor mentioned that electric guitars and drums were banned for being “too worldly” when he was younger. They were “instruments of the Devil,” he said they once believed. This made me suddenly aware that there were parts of church that shifted and changed with culture.
- The youth pastor led a lecture about the moral failings of drinking alcohol and ignored everything in scripture that demonstrated that alcohol itself isn’t banned in scripture. I spoke with him and tried to point out that adding laws that weren’t contained in the scripture was just going to create a weird counter-culture-based faith that was no different than the culture-influenced religion that they he railed against.
- Some young adults in the church invited a few members of the homeless community to church, and the older, more conservative church leadership met with them after service and strongly encouraged them to find another church that might be more accommodating. Afterwards, I overheard the leadership laughing and commenting that the homeless could have a negative impact on future church offerings.
These things continued to add up, but what pushed me over the edge was a book by Tony Campolo called “Partly Right.” In the book, Campolo dared to share criticisms of the church from perspectives both inside and outside the Western church structure. I discovered that the church model I knew wasn’t the only way to do church. It wasn’t the only template for how God meets with His people. So I started a journey of discovery, learning how to follow Jesus without the trappings of the church institution. I spent a year reading scripture, praying, learning about God’s relationship with His people, and finally found a church home that encouraged learning and discussion and questions.
I’ve been growing ever since.
Hello, I am so glad I am not the only one who sees legalism and religion instead of growing in God’s word. I have found similar issues and I currently am looking for a church to attend. I am praying on it, it is hard down south. The issue that hit me was tithes and offerings. I don’t mind giving but to say your stealing from God if you don’t give 10 percent…well I believe God loves a cheerful giver and The Holy Spirit will guide us. I like the idea of meeting in homes and breaking bread. Then get out there and help widows, the fatherless, the nursing homes, the prisons, etc..along with all neighbors. Great article!
Thanks for chiming in. I pray you can find community in your area and meet like-minded believers who struggle similarly.
I had a stellar military career—a flawless, accident-free flying career in the US Army. I did something spontaneously in Iraq that helped me define my life’s purpose. I don’t take credit for those things because they were gifts. When I was an aimless 18-year-old, I made a deal with God. No, really. I won’t go into the specifics here, but God answered instantly and audibly, fulfilling my wish. Not at all in the manner I thought He would, but He has a higher mind. As a preacher’s kid, I suppose I broke the chain of ministers for hire, my dad and his dad, by going in a different direction for my calling and career. Then, one day, I received a call from the local church wanting to hire me to be their administration minister. I wasn’t looking for a church job but thought it was God calling me to settle accounts, so I joyfully accepted the role. In those seven or so months, I had a paradoxical experience of delight and God’s love, but also the perversion that is Church, Inc., and the wrath of a hateful lead pastor who spectacularly fired me in a fit of rage and jealousy and subsequently sic’d the deacons on me to cover up his rash decision. I languished for more than a decade afterward, but God has continued to invest in me and prepare me with a message to help fruitless Christians bear fruit for the kingdom, not by works, but by equipping from the Holy Spirit. In my life and career, I have pursued the character of God by studying his heart. He is true to His word. He loves us. Even a deeply flawed and unlikely person such as myself.
Thanks for sharing this story, Chris! There is something profound about church wounds. I suspect it’s similar to wounds from an abusive parent. There are expectations of protection and care that get twisted and turned into pain that stabs directly into our vulnerability.
But God is good. So good. Thanks again for sharing!