newprotest.org: HORROR FROM THE PIT

HORROR FROM THE PIT

August 05, 2006
by: jovial_cynic
I've been feeling a little sick over the last couple of days -- a sore throat that's slowing turning into a full-body feeling of crappiness, and each morning, I've felt a little worse. Friday morning was particularly awful.

I couldn't find my normal anti-perspirant, so I grabbed my wife's Degree: Ultra Clear anti-perspirant and liberally applied it to my armpits, thinking that there can't be much of a difference between men's and women's antiperspirant.

First of all, this particular brand of women's deoderant doesn't smell... normal. And not just because it's "PH balanced for a woman" or anything... I happen to think it smells strange on women, too. It's kind of a sweet rotting smell... like rotting fruit, sprayed with perfume. I assumed that it would smell better than sweaty armpit, but as the day rolled on, I began to disagree. My sweaty armpits don't actually bother me very much... but this antiperspirant made me want to vomit.

Since I felt sick anyway, I decided to go home from work for the day. It was there that I discovered a secret about one of the differences between women's anti-perspirant and men's anti-perspirant.

HAIR.

My own deoderant and antiperspirant takes into account the fact that I have hair in my armpits. I don't think that women's deoderant does. I got a look in the mirror at my armpits before I took a shower and saw a large cloud of white of waxy goo clumped up in my armpit hair.

Disgusting. In the shower, I spent about 20 minutes trying to get the globs of antiperspirant out of my armpit hair. Unfortunately, whatever chemical is used to prevent a woman from sweating is somehow immune to soap and shampoo. I scrubbed and scrubbed, and 20 minutes into the efforts, my armpits and my hands continued to bead water. I even tried using GO-JO Orange clean -- motor-oil degreaser. And... nothing. Ugh.

A day later, I still smell a little bit like the antiperspirant, but my hands no longer bead water, which is good.

Lesson learned: a woman's antiperspirant does not belong in my armpits.
np category: personal
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COMMENTS for HORROR FROM THE PIT


jovial_cynic said:
BLAST. The server move seems to have happened today, and it wiped out the comments on this post.

Sorry folks!

August 07, 2006


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