newprotest.org: SOCIALIST HAIRCUT

SOCIALIST HAIRCUT

January 03, 2006
by: jovial_cynic
Some of you who know me may have noticed that I've recently cut my hair short. I periodically get very tired of styling my hair in the mornings, so I just take my electric shaver and trim it down to about 1cm, and have my wife trim up the hair around the ears and neck line. I prefer it, both for comfort and appearance, but my wife doesn't like it very much. She tells me it makes my nose look big. She's right - it certainly does make my nose look bigger than normal, but I'm alright with that. There's no sense in being insecure over a nose, that's what I always say.

It turns out that my shorter hair is also in compliance with North Korea's new hairstyle policy. The North Korean media has launched a television campaign against long unkempt hair, and clearly my current hairstyle demonstrate a healthy socialistic lifestyle.

From the article:

[The television campaign] stressed the "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy

Check that out. My short hair is preventing the waste of nutrition, keeping my brain healthy and full of energy. Rad. What a crazy place.
np category: personal
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